Wednesday, October 31, 2012

A Cautionary Tale...


I have been going through some old papers which I had managed to accumulate after nearly seventeen years in a parish. I've managed to shred or bin quite a lot but every now and then I come across a gem that deserves wider recognition. I don't recall who sent me the following Memorandum, but I though it worth publishing here. I imagine it probably first appeared in Not The Church Times or some such publication...

MEMORANDUMTo: Jesus, Son of Joseph, Nazareth.
From: The Advisory Board for the Church's Ministry.
Subject: Selection of Candidates for Ministry
Thank you for submitting details of the 12 men you think suitable for Ministry. All of them have now attended a Selection Conference.
It is the board's opinion that most of the Candidates are lacking in the background, education and vocational aptitude necessary for full-time ministry.
Simon Peter is emotionally unstable and given to fits of temper. Andrew has absolutely no qualities of leadership. The two brothers, James and John the sons of Zebedee, place personal interest above vocational commitment. Thomas demonstrates a questioning attitude and he needs to be more sure of his own faith before being involved in Ministry to others. A bad business reference has been forwarded for Matthew. James, son of Alphaeus, and Thaddeus have unhelpful political opinions and they both appear to be manic-depressives. One of the Candidates, however, shows great potential. He is a man of ability and resourcefulness, meets people well, has a keen financial mind (so necessary in today's Church), and has good contacts in government. He is highly motivated and innovative. We can recommend Judas Iscariot without hesitation as being an outstanding and successful Candidate.
We have written to all the Candidates accordingly.


Makes yer think, dunnit?

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